Anxiety has only two causes, either we are not happy with what we have or we are not happy with what others have.
بےچینی کی بس دو ہی وجہ ہوتی ہیں. یا تو ہم اس سے خوش نہیں ہوتے جو ہمارے پاس ہے یا پھر اس سے جو دوسروں کے پاس ہے
Recently I wrote a blog on emptiness and called it a blessing. Mainly because I crave that emptiness so badly. Meditation is a well-known way to attain emptiness but what to do if even in my meditation, I don’t get that? I am fed up of my wordly desires. They always find some way to come back. It’s depressing to surrender to the desires, you don’t want any more.
There is a thing about filling myself with these unwanted desires that they always leave me drained, when they leave. I feel more empty, more and more every time and sometimes guilty. And this is how I know they are not what I want. They don’t stay with me permanently. They don’t fill me. They just come, stay and leave, as an unwanted guest. I honor them with all my heart and what do they do? They leave and how can I ask shadows to stay all day long?
So what is there that can fill me up? That won’t leave me? Something that should always be there for me, whenever my desires leave me alone or may be as a desire in itself? There should be something. There must be something. There is something.
I found Him.
No. He found me.
He is here. Listen.
There comes a time when we feel empty. We don’t feel anything but empty, no sadness, no happiness, nothing at all. It is a common practice to call this boredom. And we try to fill that emptiness with things that in reality makes us more empty but that is another topic. So we use social media, go out with friends and relatives or anything that temporarily fills this emptiness up. We actually keep ourselves busy to divert our attention. I tried to over-come this emptiness by becoming more social which was totally opposite to my nature. I indulged myself into music, outings and gossips. Yep, gossips is actually another way to focus our attention on others when we need it the most for ourselves.
And there is nothing wrong in that. In fact it’s very important to fill us for the sake of mental peace but we must be very careful in choosing the right stuffing material for our soul. This emptiness is a blessing. It is a call from inside. Listen to the call and instead of filling it by anything, take your time and think what is it that your inside wants? Is it only a distraction or something bigger? It is a blessing to feel the call and a much bigger blessing to understand what is it calling for? Just listen to your self and you will get your answers 🙂 Love and blessings to everyone♥
Whenever I need someone to stand with me and support me financially and morally, I only have my father’s back.
Whenever I want someone to love me unconditionally and to pray for me, I can only see my mother who wishes the best for me without any selfish motives.
Whenever I need a true friend who listens to my shit and accepts me as I am, not when it’s convenient for them but whenever I am in need, I can only think of my sisters.
Whenever I want someone to keep my secrets and I have no fear that it will be used as a gossip, I reach out to my brother.
My only friends other than my family are those who reminds me of Allah and helps me to get to the Light.
And I am thankful to Allah who gave me all these relationships. I have all of them because I have Him. Without Him, I have noone.
I saw no other relationships that want good for me without wanting something in return. For me no other relations are relations but time pass and human needs.
Few months back, I decided to start a fight against depression because I know how devastating this one feeling can be. Yes, I believe that it’s more of a feeling than an illness. I reached my friends, who have fought or are still fighting with depression, but unfortunately no one came forward to help me in this cause. But as I believe, nothing good ever goes in vain, I met this gentleman, Aron Bennett, on twitter. He invited me to write for his global diary. A diary that was going to be all about mental problems, experiences of people who have successfully won this battle against their own minds and also about the feelings of those who are still fighting and are so amazing and brave that they are willing to share their feelings with the whole world, just to support other people who are dealing with any sort of mental illness or problem. I was a bit hesitant about writing at first because personally I have never had any mental problem, apart from mood swings that includes depression too but not for more than a week or two, or a unique story to share with the world, but Aron was nice enough to let me share an entry as a doctor. Also English is not my first language but he was ok with it too so I submitted my entry on 6/16/2016, on depression ( I have my interest in psychiatry as my post-graduation field, for those who don’t know me). It takes me great pleasure to tell you that the e-book is now published and available on Amazon here. The amount generated by this book is going to charity, if I got it right. So please go and show some love to this gentleman and to everyone who decided to came forward and shared that private part of their heads. Let’s make this world a better place for each other. Love and spread love.
According to statistics, depression affects approximately 14.8 million American adults, or about 6.7 percent of the U.S population age 18 and older. But I believe everyone of us experience some sort of depression at some time in our lives. It’s only a feeling, but unlike happiness, sadness, emptiness, joyness, excitement; it is different and very dangerous. It can consume every aspect of our living.
So I decided to start a fight against depression. Here I will share your stories about anything and everything related to depression.
My dear ones, let’s fight against depression together.
Send in your stories at this email address;
I look forward to hearing from all of you soon.
Artwork by Eda Gecikmez