Category Archives: Mental Health

Take a Minute, Change a Life!

Don’t be sad! Because God sends hope in the most desperate moments. Don’t forget, the heaviest rain comes out of the darkest clouds. ~Rumi

If the rate of suicide increases in any society, blame yourself for that and know that someone wants to talk to me, wants to share his/her suffering with me but I don’t have any time to listen.

Ashfaq Ahmed

Today is the 15th World Suicide Prevention Day. It is held every year on 10th of September in order to stand with the people who are, not yet, able to see the beauty of this life. Every year 800,000 people end their life by suicide and there is 1 suicide every 40 seconds across the globe. The theme of this year is amazing and very similar to what Ashfaq Ahmed Sahab said years ago. It says;

“Take a minute, change a life.”

The theme encourages everyone to spare a moment for those who are struggling, specially those who might not be very well connected to the society or even isolated. Spare a moment, check in and listen. Give them your ears, they are waiting for you. Research shows that 2/3 people inform before they commit suicide. And that is why strong family system and good social connections serve as protective factors. I also want to tell that we see a lot of patients with suicidal ideation, mostly with moderate to severe depression and when I ask do you think this life is worth living? They say not at all and when I ask do you ever plan to end your life? They say I would have ended my life uptil now but because it is haram (prohibited) in Islam, I haven’t. Alhamdulillah for a religion like that. Allah says in Surah Al-Nisa that;

“Don’t kill yourself. No doubt Allah (swt) is merciful and anyone who does so, will be punished in fire. And it is easy for Allah.

Surah An-Nisa

4:29-30

Subhan Allah. In this verse, Allah is reminding us that don’t end this beautiful life that I have gifted you and reminding us clearly that He is merciful. He will fix everything eventually. As I always say, even the bad things, happen for a good reason. We just have to keep going, with trust. And in the next verse, He is then warning the person that if you still want to do it, know that I will punish you. Can you see the love behind this threat? Like our parents do when we are not listening to them and they want to safe us in every way, possible or impossible? A love like that. Alhamdulillah.

Now the question is do we have a minute to listen to the people who need us?? Listen in a non-judgement and empathic way. Let them share in whatever way they want. World is a beautiful place. It is more beautiful when we are all connected through love. Shams Tabrizi says that we are all connected in a circle. So it is not the suffering of a single person, it is always a mutual suffering. Show people that you love. Listen.

Because taking out a minute can save a life. 

Love and spread love.

©2017 Parus

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Life Update

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In the last month, I didn’t get time to write or share anything here. It was initially due to ramzan. But now that ramzan is gone, I am still not getting enough time to get back to my past routine and that is because I have started my post-graduation training in Psychiatry. It’s been more than 3 weeks and Alhamdulillah, I am satisfied with my decision.

So here we have a weekly class on Psychology too. And today, the topic was Human figure drawing (hfd). It is a technique that is used by the psychologist to access the psychological or personality status of a person through drawing. Instead of teaching us this technique, she used it on us 😛 She gave us a paper to draw a human. We were a bunch of 8 people. After we completed, she evaluated our drawings and showed us how to do it. I didn’t like this idea much because she didn’t take care of our privacy and that too in a professional setup where people are already all set to judge you. Anyway when she came down to my drawing, it was a whirling dervish. She said that because I showed his back that indicates I am shy. She mentioned some more points and concluded that I need appreciation and may be I didn’t get it in the past so I have turned my back to the world. Talking about the positive point of my personality, she said that I am autonomous.

I don’t know if I agree with her but one thing is for sure that this technique can be very deceiving, without proper history or understanding I would say. As the context of the psychologist can change the entire situation, like a person who has no desire of the world due to; let’s say, sufism; could be taken as a person who is getting detached due to depression or failures. Or in other words, the interpretation is dependent. Even saying the right thing in another context, can change the status of a normal person to a person who is in need of the therapy.

However I do think that this technique can benefit in the situations where patients are not willing or comfortable in opening up in front of the psychiatrist. Overall, I enjoyed today’s class and I wish to know more about psychology because I believe, in the present psychiatry practice, we are relying almost completely on the medicines and don’t give as much attention to psychology.

And that is all about what’s going on in my life. I missed this place and I hope everybody is doing good 🙂 Love and blessings to everyone♥

Anxiety

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Anxiety has only two causes, either we are not happy with what we have or we are not happy with what others have.

بےچینی کی بس دو ہی وجہ ہوتی ہیں. یا تو ہم اس سے خوش نہیں ہوتے جو ہمارے پاس ہے یا پھر اس سے جو دوسروں کے پاس ہے

©2017 Parus

Emptiness is a Blessing #2

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Recently I wrote a blog on emptiness and called it a blessing. Mainly because I crave that emptiness so badly. Meditation is a well-known way to attain emptiness but what to do if even in my meditation, I don’t get that? I am fed up of my wordly desires. They always find some way to come back. It’s depressing to surrender to the desires, you don’t want any more.

There is a thing about filling myself with these unwanted desires that they always leave me drained, when they leave. I feel more empty, more and more every time and sometimes guilty. And this is how I know they are not what I want. They don’t stay with me permanently. They don’t fill me. They just come, stay and leave, as an unwanted guest. I honor them with all my heart and what do they do? They leave and how can I ask shadows to stay all day long?

So what is there that can fill me up? That won’t leave me? Something that should always be there for me, whenever my desires leave me alone or may be as a desire in itself? There should be something. There must be something. There is something.

I found Him.

No. He found me.

He is here. Listen.

©2017 Parus

Emptiness is a Blessing

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There comes a time when we feel empty. We don’t feel anything but empty, no sadness, no happiness, nothing at all. It is a common practice to call this boredom. And we try to fill that emptiness with things that in reality makes us more empty but that is another topic. So we use social media, go out with friends and relatives or anything that temporarily fills this emptiness up. We actually keep ourselves busy to divert our attention. I tried to over-come this emptiness by becoming more social which was totally opposite to my nature. I indulged myself into music, outings and gossips. Yep, gossips is actually another way to focus our attention on others when we need it the most for ourselves.

And there is nothing wrong in that. In fact it’s very important to fill us for the sake of mental peace but we must be very careful in choosing the right stuffing material for our soul. This emptiness is a blessing. It is a call from inside. Listen to the call and instead of filling it by anything, take your time and think what is it that your inside wants? Is it only a distraction or something bigger? It is a blessing to feel the call and a much bigger blessing to understand what is it calling for? Just listen to your self and you will get your answers 🙂 Love and blessings to everyone♥

©2017 Parus

My Small World!

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Whenever I need someone to stand with me and support me financially and morally, I only have my father’s back.

Whenever I want someone to love me unconditionally and to pray for me, I can only see my mother who wishes the best for me without any selfish motives.

Whenever I need a true friend who listens to my shit and accepts me as I am, not when it’s convenient for them but whenever I am in need, I can only think of my sisters.

Whenever I want someone to keep my secrets and I have no fear that it will be used as a gossip, I reach out to my brother.

My only friends other than my family are those who reminds me of Allah and helps me to get to the Light.

And I am thankful to Allah who gave me all these relationships. I have all of them because I have Him. Without Him, I have noone.

I saw no other relationships that want good for me without wanting something in return. For me no other relations are relations but time pass and human needs.

A Day in my Head!

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Cover page of “A day in my Head”

Few months back, I decided to start a fight against depression because I know how devastating this one feeling can be. Yes, I believe that it’s more of a feeling than an illness. I reached my friends, who have fought or are still fighting with depression, but unfortunately no one came forward to help me in this cause. But as I believe, nothing good ever goes in vain, I met this gentleman, Aron Bennett, on twitter. He invited me to write for his global diary. A diary that was going to be all about mental problems, experiences of people who have successfully won this battle against their own minds and also about the feelings of those who are still fighting and are so amazing and brave that they are willing  to share their feelings with the whole world, just to support other people who are dealing with any sort of mental illness or problem. I was a bit hesitant about writing at first because personally I have never had any mental problem, apart from mood swings that includes depression too but not for more than a week or two, or a unique story to share with the world, but Aron was nice enough to let me share an entry as a doctor. Also English is not my first language but he was ok with it too so I submitted my entry on 6/16/2016, on depression ( I have my interest in psychiatry as my post-graduation field, for those who don’t know me). It takes me great pleasure to tell you that the e-book is now published and available on Amazon here. The amount generated by this book is going to charity, if I got it right. So please go and show some love to this gentleman and to everyone who decided to came forward and shared that private part of their heads. Let’s make this world a better place for each other. Love and spread love.

Fight against Depression!

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According to statistics, depression affects approximately 14.8 million American adults, or about 6.7 percent of the U.S population age 18 and older. But I believe everyone of us experience some sort of depression at some time in our lives. It’s only a feeling, but unlike happiness, sadness, emptiness, joyness,  excitement; it is different and very dangerous. It can consume every aspect of our living.

So I decided to start a fight against depression. Here I will share your stories about anything and everything related to depression.

My dear ones, let’s fight against depression together.

Send in your stories at this email address;

parus90_ysn@outlook.com

I look forward to hearing from all of you soon.

Artwork by Eda Gecikmez

From berlin-artparasites