In the last month, I didn’t get time to write or share anything here. It was initially due to ramzan. But now that ramzan is gone, I am still not getting enough time to get back to my past routine and that is because I have started my post-graduation training in Psychiatry. It’s been more than 3 weeks and Alhamdulillah, I am satisfied with my decision.
So here we have a weekly class on Psychology too. And today, the topic was Human figure drawing (hfd). It is a technique that is used by the psychologist to access the psychological or personality status of a person through drawing. Instead of teaching us this technique, she used it on us 😛 She gave us a paper to draw a human. We were a bunch of 8 people. After we completed, she evaluated our drawings and showed us how to do it. I didn’t like this idea much because she didn’t take care of our privacy and that too in a professional setup where people are already all set to judge you. Anyway when she came down to my drawing, it was a whirling dervish. She said that because I showed his back that indicates I am shy. She mentioned some more points and concluded that I need appreciation and may be I didn’t get it in the past so I have turned my back to the world. Talking about the positive point of my personality, she said that I am autonomous.
I don’t know if I agree with her but one thing is for sure that this technique can be very deceiving, without proper history or understanding I would say. As the context of the psychologist can change the entire situation, like a person who has no desire of the world due to; let’s say, sufism; could be taken as a person who is getting detached due to depression or failures. Or in other words, the interpretation is dependent. Even saying the right thing in another context, can change the status of a normal person to a person who is in need of the therapy.
However I do think that this technique can benefit in the situations where patients are not willing or comfortable in opening up in front of the psychiatrist. Overall, I enjoyed today’s class and I wish to know more about psychology because I believe, in the present psychiatry practice, we are relying almost completely on the medicines and don’t give as much attention to psychology.
And that is all about what’s going on in my life. I missed this place and I hope everybody is doing good 🙂 Love and blessings to everyone♥
Rumi is coming home tonight
Empty trees, dying sun,
Shattered hearts, misty eyes.
Rumi’s poems, a new beam of light.
I know this world; it never fulfills its promises.
You won’t find a real friend in the whole world.
Don’t go on gazing at that glided disk in the sky:
It has nothing inside it, not even a straw mat!
So many idiots swarm into the trap of this world
Like blind men who don’t have a stick to hand!
They worry for this world and tremble at its poverty.
Bizarre lunacy which nothing can ever cure!
It’s easy to credit the world’s beauty since it stays veiled.
In reality, it’s hideous old hag, without any allure.
Whoever submits to her witchcraft is like a serpent
Without feet, or hands, or intelligence, or religion.
What an absurd fate to give your life to this world!
It’s the fate of all those who don’t find the path to Him.
What is this copper full of dross, that forgets its copper-nature
And imagines that the philosophers stone doesn’t exist?
Because of a vain image, you yourself become illusion
And then all you can know is grief, anguish, and disaster.
Translations by Andrew Harvey
Anxiety has only two causes, either we are not happy with what we have or we are not happy with what others have.
بےچینی کی بس دو ہی وجہ ہوتی ہیں. یا تو ہم اس سے خوش نہیں ہوتے جو ہمارے پاس ہے یا پھر اس سے جو دوسروں کے پاس ہے
Recently I wrote a blog on emptiness and called it a blessing. Mainly because I crave that emptiness so badly. Meditation is a well-known way to attain emptiness but what to do if even in my meditation, I don’t get that? I am fed up of my wordly desires. They always find some way to come back. It’s depressing to surrender to the desires, you don’t want any more.
There is a thing about filling myself with these unwanted desires that they always leave me drained, when they leave. I feel more empty, more and more every time and sometimes guilty. And this is how I know they are not what I want. They don’t stay with me permanently. They don’t fill me. They just come, stay and leave, as an unwanted guest. I honor them with all my heart and what do they do? They leave and how can I ask shadows to stay all day long?
So what is there that can fill me up? That won’t leave me? Something that should always be there for me, whenever my desires leave me alone or may be as a desire in itself? There should be something. There must be something. There is something.
I found Him.
No. He found me.
He is here. Listen.
There comes a time when we feel empty. We don’t feel anything but empty, no sadness, no happiness, nothing at all. It is a common practice to call this boredom. And we try to fill that emptiness with things that in reality makes us more empty but that is another topic. So we use social media, go out with friends and relatives or anything that temporarily fills this emptiness up. We actually keep ourselves busy to divert our attention. I tried to over-come this emptiness by becoming more social which was totally opposite to my nature. I indulged myself into music, outings and gossips. Yep, gossips is actually another way to focus our attention on others when we need it the most for ourselves.
And there is nothing wrong in that. In fact it’s very important to fill us for the sake of mental peace but we must be very careful in choosing the right stuffing material for our soul. This emptiness is a blessing. It is a call from inside. Listen to the call and instead of filling it by anything, take your time and think what is it that your inside wants? Is it only a distraction or something bigger? It is a blessing to feel the call and a much bigger blessing to understand what is it calling for? Just listen to your self and you will get your answers 🙂 Love and blessings to everyone♥
Whenever I need someone to stand with me and support me financially and morally, I only have my father’s back.
Whenever I want someone to love me unconditionally and to pray for me, I can only see my mother who wishes the best for me without any selfish motives.
Whenever I need a true friend who listens to my shit and accepts me as I am, not when it’s convenient for them but whenever I am in need, I can only think of my sisters.
Whenever I want someone to keep my secrets and I have no fear that it will be used as a gossip, I reach out to my brother.
My only friends other than my family are those who reminds me of Allah and helps me to get to the Light.
And I am thankful to Allah who gave me all these relationships. I have all of them because I have Him. Without Him, I have noone.
I saw no other relationships that want good for me without wanting something in return. For me no other relations are relations but time pass and human needs.
I think all good and sensitive people are either depressed or they have already found Allah.