Recently I wrote a blog on emptiness and called it a blessing. Mainly because I crave that emptiness so badly. Meditation is a well-known way to attain emptiness but what to do if even in my meditation, I don’t get that? I am fed up of my wordly desires. They always find some way to come back. It’s depressing to surrender to the desires, you don’t want any more.
There is a thing about filling myself with these unwanted desires that they always leave me drained, when they leave. I feel more empty, more and more every time and sometimes guilty. And this is how I know they are not what I want. They don’t stay with me permanently. They don’t fill me. They just come, stay and leave, as an unwanted guest. I honor them with all my heart and what do they do? They leave and how can I ask shadows to stay all day long?
So what is there that can fill me up? That won’t leave me? Something that should always be there for me, whenever my desires leave me alone or may be as a desire in itself? There should be something. There must be something. There is something.
I found Him.
No. He found me.
He is here. Listen.